you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
