been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
