forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
