dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Couch. On fire.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
