I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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