Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
