Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
