Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
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