Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the day after is always just damage control
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
