with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
