Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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