Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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