No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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