I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
