It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
