I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
