there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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