Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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