Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
