What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i was born a porn star she said
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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