I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
