just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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