A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize