WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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