After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
