If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize