So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
