i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
