Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
