Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
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