I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
