Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
