Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
