why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
