he was CRYING into my vagina
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
