I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
