He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
