she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
