Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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