I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i will never coherently bang her
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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