hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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