He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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