Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
