the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We named our party play list daddy issues
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
