i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
