i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
