I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
