just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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