Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Randomize
