i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
