remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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