I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
