sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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