I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
