Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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