There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
