dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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