The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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