yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
