He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize