You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
