i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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