I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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