The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
